Teaching our Children to be Good Listeners

Welcome back, everyone!  I hope you enjoyed the longer than usual summer vacation.  Much has gone on to prepare the building for the new school year, and I am sure that you will notice some of the changes when you come for Back to School Night on Wednesday September 22^nd at 7:00.

As we start off this school year I thought I would write about how we can help our children become better listeners.  In one of the Family Circus cartoon strips, the little girl looks up at her father, who is reading the newspaper, and says: “Daddy, you have to listen to me with your eyes as well as your ears.” 

Listening is not a school subject.  Many of us seem to feel that comes naturally; however recent studies show that listening is a very large part of school learning and is one of our primary means of interacting with other people on a personal basis.  It is estimated that between 50 and 75 percent of a students’ classroom time is spent listening to the teacher or to other students.

According to studies on listening, being a good listener means focusing attention on the message and reviewing the important information.  Parents can model good listening behavior for their children and advise them on ways to be an active listener.  Sometimes it helps to ‘show’ children than an active listener is one who looks the speaker in the eye and is willing to turn the television off to make sure that the listener is not distracted by outside interference.

Some guidelines for modeling good listening skills are:

1. Be interested and attentive: maintain eye contact to show that you paying attention to your child.
2. Encourage talking: some children need an invitation to start talking.  You might begin with, “Tell me about your day at school,” rather than simply asking how school was.
3. Listen patiently: people think faster than they speak.  With limited vocabulary and experience, children often take longer than adults to find the right words.
4. Hear children out: avoid cutting your child off before he/she has finished speaking.  It is easy to form an opinion or reject a child’s views before they finish what they have to say.  It may be difficult to listen respectfully and not correct misconceptions, but respect their right to have and express their opinions.
5. Listen to nonverbal messages: many messages children send are communicated nonverbally through their tone of voice, facial expressions, energy level, posture or changes in behavior patterns.  You can often tell more from the way a child says something than from what is said. 

Some simple tips to improve communication with children are:

1. Be interested: ask about your child’s ideas and opinions regularly.  This will help them become more comfortable expressing their thoughts.
2. Avoid dead-end questions: ask questions that will extend interaction rather than cut it off.   Questions that require a yes or not or right answer lead a conversation to a dead end.  Questions that ask children to describe, explain, or share ideas extend the conversation.
3. Extend conversation: Respond to your child’s statements by asking a question that restates or uses some of the same words that your child used.
4. Share your thoughts
5. Observe signs: watch for signs that it is time to end a conversation.  When a child begins to stare into space, give silly responses or ask you to repeat yourself several times, it is probably time to stop the exchange.
6. Reflect feelings: one of the most important skills good listeners have is the ability to put themselves in the shoes of others or empathize with the speaker by attempting to understand his or her thoughts and feelings.  Try to mirror your child’s feelings by repeating them.  Restating or rephrasing what your child has said is useful when they are experiencing powerful emotions that they may not be fully aware of.
7. Help clarify and relate experiences: as you listen, try to make your child’s feelings clear by stating them in your own words.  Your broader vocabulary can help your child express him/herself more accurately and give him/her a deeper understanding of words and inner thoughts.

Adults, parents and teachers set powerful examples of good or poor communication.  Communication skills are influenced by the examples children see and hear.  Parents and teachers who listen to their children with interest, attention, and patience set a good example.

The greatest audience children can have is an adult who is important to them and interested in them.

Happy listening!

Dr. Weber

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you Byrd School H.S.A.

This summer, Mr. Gulmy and his construction crew, made my dream for the Byrd School backyard become a reality.  If you haven’t had a chance, please take a moment to look at our new outdoor classroom that is out back on one side of our library.  Mr. Gulmy took my vision and built our beautiful amphitheater, which teachers will use with their students. 

I can’t thank the Byrd School Home and School Association enough for providing the funding for this project.  We will certainly be the envy of the other Glen Rock Schools.

I would be remiss is I also didn’t thank Don Mutch, carpenter for our school district.  Don consulted with Mr. Gulmy and stopped over to the school, even on weekends.

Parent Handbook

Please take a few minutes to review the Parent Handbook that is posted on the Byrd School website.  There are important changes to it as well as a signature page that you need to sign and return to the school.  I also encourage you to review the Student Handbook with your child.

Summer Construction

There was quite a lot of work done in the building over the summer including a new heating/ventilation system.  The radiators and univents were removed from all classrooms and new equipment was installed.  Byrd School also received a new boiler.  We anticipate with the modernization of our heating system that the building will be temperate during the winter.

A new telephone system was also installed.  Now, each classroom has a telephone; however teachers will not be receiving telephone calls during school hours.  If you leave a voice mail, the teacher will receive notification on his/her E-mail.

Phone extensions will be made available on Back to School Night.

Computers 

Our former computer lab has been transformed into a classroom so the Technology Department has ordered lap tops and carts for our building.  Now, instruction on the computers will occur in classrooms.

A Hardy Welcome

We have several new faculty members joining us at Byrd School this year.  Mrs. Jennifer Burke, who was the part-time Gifted and Talented/Enrichment teacher last year, will be teaching third grade.

Mrs. Effie Lebet, who formerly taught at Coleman School, will be teaching students in our Language/Learning Disabled (LLD) class.

Mrs. Emily Wong will be our Certified School Nurse.  Mrs. Wong comes to us from a private parochial school and the Ridgewood School District.

Mrs. Anna Kim is returning to Byrd School as a part-time English as a Second Language teacher.

Mrs. Toni Clark is returning from maternity leave and will be teaching in the Resource Center.

Mrs. Heidy Moretti, who worked with us part-time last year as a teaching assistant, will be full-time this year.

Mrs. Kathleen Westerduin and Mrs. Debbie De Rosa are coming to Byrd from Central School and will be working with us as teaching assistants.

Additional teaching assistants are:  Mrs. Jamie Henderson and Mr. Rocco Ferrante.

The Gifted and Talented/Enrichment part-time teacher will be Mrs. Patricia Voight and our new lunch assistant is Mrs. Elaine Scarpenti who formerly worked at Central School.

One other change you will see this year is Mrs. Stanley will be teaching 4^th grade and Mrs. LiBretto will be teaching 5^th grade.

E Mail Addresses

Please be sure that the office and your child’s teacher have your E mail address.